Last week, while walking the streets of Los Angeles, I did what I normally do while visiting a big city, I wandered into a newspaper and magazine shop.
But instead of diving into my usual foreign language fare, my eye caught a glimpse of “Small Business Opportunities” magazine.
“No, I couldn’t” I thought. “I haven’t picked up that magazine since the 90’s.”
But since I was in town for a marketing conference, I thought what the heck. Besides, I wanted to know if the voluptuous blond, Laura Johnson and her ad, “Use Me To Get Rich,” were still to be found in the pages within.
Since I have a reputation to uphold, I couldn’t just walk up to the Urdu speaking cashier with a copy of Small Business Opportunities, could I?
So, just like an adolescent boy who bundles Playboy with Time Magazine and National Geographic, I sandwiched the biz-op mag between the Financial Times and Barron’s. My “ploy” worked, the cashier hardly seemed to notice SBO!
Ten minutes later, I’m back in my hotel room flipping through SBO. No Laura Johnson…and no Ken Roberts. And worse, the copy in almost every ad felt like it was written by Torquemada and his torturers. I had to remind myself that the respondents to these offers were hyper-responsive for a brief few weeks, then usually never heard from again.
So, since none of the ads inspired me to fire up my scanner, here’s an old Dean F.V. Du Vall ad from the mid-80’s.
See Dean straddle his Silver Shadow.
Listen as Dean tells you how to make “big bux.”
Just don’t respond. This is an ad from the 80’s.