The Most Exciting Hyperbole In A Lifetime!!!

DO YOU KNOW:

• Triple exclamation points are a dead giveaway of advertising amateurs?
• That outrageous metaphors, like “Scottsdale on the Water,” undermine credibility?
• That investment cliches like “ground floor” cause many readers to immediately toss your sales letter in the trash?

You didn’t. Well that’s evident from this sales letter which hails from the distant year, 2007.

As the creator of the Ultimate Online Swipe File, I store more junk mail than any sane copywriter should and I recently unearthed this doozy.

Now, I don’t fault the principals of this real estate project for thinking big and pitching their plan to the public. Wasn’t that what everyone was doing in the sub-prime years?

And though cheesy, I don’t blame them for renting the most expensive restaurant in the neighborhood and trying to get the attendees soused on chateaubriand and claret in an attempt to loosen their wallets.

But they deserve everlasting condemnation for mailing such an appalling ad.

Yes, it’s an invitation for a free dinner and everyone knows there’s going to be a pitch. Even rich folks are willing to sit though a dog and pony show for a freebie.

But is there any hope of attracting a bona fide prospect with a headline containing “The Most Exciting Project in a Lifetime!!!”

This developer has gone “all in” as they say in poker parlance. He’s done a mass mailing to a compiled list and even rented a restaurant to host the would-be buyers. Yet, the copy reads like it was written by someone who uses a photocopier for a living — not someone who creates accountable advertising.

It’s probably too late to “rescue” this advertiser in 2010. And maybe in hindsight it’s a good thing that tepid copy capped response.

How many other clueless souls are out there today mailing pieces like this? There’s a greater number of clients than any of us could handle in two lifetimes.